This First Year student was not doing well in exams. He was not enjoying his university experience.
“I don’t think College is for me. I think I should have started working straight after my Leaving Cert”
The Careers Counsellor assured the client that there were many more options other than college and that the Careers process would examine a number of these.When he met with the careers counsellor, he was still determined to leave college. However, his careers profile suggested a very different course. It seemed that he was indeed suited to the course he was doing and that he had the aptitude to do very well in it.
The client, ironically, was not pleased to hear this.
“I just could not go back and spend another minute there. I am leaving no matter what.” He replied.
The counsellor had noticed in his motivational questionnaire that this client was very affiliative; friends would be of primary importance to him. If he was not making social connections, any situation would be very difficult for him. Could loneliness and lack of social contact be part of the problem?
The counsellor suggested that they explore what exactly was not suiting him. To do this they looked at his normal day. A picture began to build up. The college he was attending was very large and far from his home and his friends. He was sharing an apartment with people from home whom he considered friends. However, on closer investigation, it became clear that he had not bonded with this group and felt very uncomfortable in the house. College did not provide him with the social outlet he needed. His classes and tutorials were very large and he had not made many friends. In short, he was very lonely.
He explained that he had many friends at home. He missed his football team and felt that they were all moving on without him. He admitted that he would be far happier to go to the local college; the course there was good and provided exactly the same level of degree qualification. He would have friends there and things would be generally much easier for him.
This young client took some time to admit any type of loneliness. He was a young man starting out in the world; competent, confident young men did not get lonely.
“If I do leave, I couldn’t tell anyone it was because I was lonely. It sounds like such a ‘loser’ thing to say” he said at last..
The counsellor told the young man that going to college was hard enough; he did not have to choose a location that made things even harder. He did not have to mention loneliness to his friends. He could just say that he had looked at the course in the local college and found it very good; he was moving back home.
This young man moved college the following September. As most of his friends were moving, none of them even commented on this. They were just thrilled to have such a competent defender back on the team. The course he chose proved to be no problem and college started to become a fun place to be